What are you?

Wikipedia says “LGBT pride is the positive stance against discrimination and violence toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people to promote their self-affirmation, dignity, equality rights, increase their visibility as a social group, build community, and celebrate sexual diversity and gender variance." However, even within the LGBTQ community there is bias and judgment. Yes, there is tons more acceptance and unconditional love to be shared but for some, like me, there is also a lot of questions and doubt from others. I was conflicted on whether or not I should make a pride post this year. A lot of people, judge people like me who “flip-flop” as it’s been called between men and women. First off, I chose to write this because my pride is not diminished because I am currently in a heterosexual relationship. I am no more 'straight' today than I was the day I married a woman. Who I am with does not define me or my sexuality. Secondly, I’m no foot wear. I’m not flip flopping any more than you are between your partners of the same gender. I don’t go around asking people “Oh, are you only into brown eyed guys now? Was Steve just a phase?” or “So, are you like done with tall blondes for good now that you're with a brunette?” Starting to see how ridiculous it sounds when you apply it to outward characteristics? I have been asked in some polite and some rather vulgar ways, if I am “straight now” because I am with a man again, if my 5 year relationship to a woman was a phase, if I was just pretending. I have been told that I just can’t make up my mind, that I’m a slut, I’m an attention whore. that all I needed was the right man to “show me what I like” or “what I’m missing,” as if the right phallus could suddenly change my sexual orientation.

My favorite has been, “so, what are you?” What am I? What I am not is judgmental, close minded, or scared of someone/something I don’t understand. I have been with men, women, and a little bit of everything on the gender spectrum. I am not slutty. I am not willing to sleep with anything that moves. I am not desperate for attention. I am not a threat to society. Allow me explain something about how I love, I do it unconditionally without limits. My friends, my family, my lovers. My love has no boundaries such as gender, sex, skin color, religion, etc. I am not confused. I am not confined. I firmly believe that what a person has between their legs does not affect their ability to love and respect another human being. What is between their ears, however, does and that is what I am attracted to first and foremost. So What am I? I am proud to be who I am. I am proud to be limitless. I am proud that I have boldly continued to love without limits despite the heartaches and judgment I’ve received. I am proud to be able to see past societal norms and allow myself the opportunity to learn from everyone. I am proud to be increasing visibility for pansexuals, bisexuals & lesbians. I am proud to celebrate sexual diversity and empowerment. I am proud to be associated with people who accept and recognize gender variance. I am proud to advocate for self affirmation, dignity, and equal rights. I am proud to be on the right side of history taking a positive stance against discrimination and violence towards anyone who doesn’t fall into society’s definition of normal and “right.” I am proud. What are you?